Aargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well what can I say? This week has been a shocker. The bushfires, the floods and work. Friday at work I felt like I wasnt getting anywhere. One minute I am here next minute I am there.. I was getting frustrated and emotional with everything. One good thing that came out of friday I got a new cockatiel bird and joshie named him "noodles" so cute it actually suites him. He is a pearl cockatiel with specs of grey my other bird garfield they get on pretty good few pecks here and there to sort out who rules the nest etc but they are good. (our other bird teddie flew away)Joshua was so upset when we told him, we now have the cage inside.

On saturday Joshie had his first birthday party to go to he had a great time, the other parents were friendly as well. Then we came home had lunch and watched some videos together. Then his nan and grandad came to pick him up for the night.
When Tristan came home I said i am going to clean this god damn house the walls especially they were absolutely filthy. I was proud i got that all done.
That night we went to bed, i started crying tris said whats wrong? I did talk he persisted and i broke down and cried as i was frustrated at myself. I asked why can I put alot of umf into cleaning the house and being committed to finish the job, but why cant I be committed to my weight loss journey? I just want to take the weight loss bull by the horns and tackle it with both hands and never let it go and never give up.
Tristan says weight loss is hard work and you will be in pain but it will be worth, he said look at me i live with pain all day everyday, but i keep perservering with life and just get on with it. He said I didnt think about the hard work that was ahead of me, i just did it. and he said i felt good because i achieved a goal.I just want to take pride in my house and pride in myself. How hard can that be....?