BEFORE SHOTS

As you can see here are my before photos.






































As you can see I am not impressed with these photos. I didnt realised i look liked that. Well I mean i know i am hugely fat and obese but it shocked me to realise i look like this. Imagine what people must think of me when they see me. My god when i saw me i just wanted to die .

Maybe this is one of my wake up calls you know the one that makes you jump into action and seize the moment. Well I have had plenty of these but dont last for too long.
Another thing that happend today was I got joshie to do a birthday card for his daddy which is tomorrow. He draw a picture of daddy, joshie, mummy (mummy he said as he was drawing you have a big belly and he drew a big circle to represent my large frame). I was humilated, distressed but i didnt let him know I congratulated him on his beautiful drawing. You know what kids see the honest truth and they are not shy in about telling it to you either. But maybe that is what I need to get the ball rolling something like this incident today with joshie drawing.

I just love food, but why do i let it rule me?

Why cant I take control?

I have a push bike sitting in the carport doing nothing except collecting dust.
I know I just need to toughen up, get going, and take the bull by the scruff of his neck and tackle it with full strength and not letting go.

I know the benefits of a healthy lifestyle would be worth all the pain and anguish. But I just dont want food or my mind to control my every action in life. I want to be strong, I want to be free, I want to be beautiful, I want to be a role model fo rmy sun I want to do it for me, to do it for me I need to love myself and stop putting myself down. The only person who can do it is ME!
I dont look happy in these photos do I? So what is stopping me? self doubt, scared of pain, scared of being a failure.
But if I dont do something now the worst thing that will happen to me is that I will DIE!!!! It is not too late to do something, I just got to get my head right, but how do i do that?